Thursday, August 9, 2012

... the psychology of obesity and eating disorders, therapy and treatment in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila)

dessa jimenez of abs-cbn's cheche lazaro presents asked me to share a bit of what i know about the psychology of obesity.

to start with, people have both positive and negative impressions of obese people.  on the positive side, obese people are considered jolly or masayahin like sta. clause, cute and huggable like a giant teddy bear, wealthy like donya buding or donya delilah (for those of you coming from the generation who watched John & Marsha), or authoritative like a sumo wrestler or mafia godfather.  on the negative side, obese people are treated as the butt of jokes, perceived as slow and lazy, and at worst, considered to be lacking in self-control and discipline.  

some people are triggered to eat by positive emotions such as when they feel happy, when they want to celebrate or reward themselves, when they relax in front of the tv or computer, or when they socialize.  others  are triggered to eat by negative emotions such as boredom, sadness, loneliness, worry, anger, frustration, or stress.  others eat not because of their emotional state, but simply because they enjoy the taste of food.

for those driven to eat because of negative emotions, their vicious cycle goes like this:  negative emotion --> overeating (aka comfort eating/ mindless eating) --> weight gain --> frustration, disappointment, and other negative emotions

obese people are generally self-conscious, especially of their tummy, thighs, neck and chin.  they may have poor body image and thus suffer from low self-esteem.  obese people are also prone to major depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse (substances that increase metabolism. diuretics, laxatives), and bulimia nervosa wherein they purge what they've just eaten.  

practically all aspects of life are affected by their obesity.  for instance, they may suffer discrimination at work. they can't enjoy or engage in activities which most people take for granted (e.g., riding jeepneys or buses, entering CR cubicles, going to movies, or buying clothes off the rack).  obese people who are single get worried that they might not be able to find a lifetime partner. and for the obese people who are in relationship, even their sex lives suffer.  for instance, they are afraid that they might crush their partner, that they can't enjoy the sexual acrobatics of slimmer people, or that they might kill the sex urge of their partner as soon as they get naked.

short of bariatric surgery, what obese people need is a strategic plan.  obese people must first of all identify their specific foods of abuse.  contrary to popular belief, it's not junk food that is the primary culprit for obesity but delicious ulam (e.g., kaldereta, kare-kare, crispy pata, lechon, fried chicken with gravy, etc.) which makes them eat tons of rice.  these foods of abuse must be avoided at all cost.  obese people must also identify the situations (family gatherings, socials, watching tv, etc.) and the time of day (big breakfast or lunch, the midnight meal) that make them vulnerable to overeating.  and lastly, they need to correct the attitudes that promote overeating (e.g. 'i must eat all the left-over food of my family and friends because people in africa are dying of starvation.')

as a final word, here's my tip for you:  when you feel like eating when you shouldn't, just drink cold water, or suck on strongly mentholated sugarless candy, or try extra strong fisherman's wharf lozenges.  these will surely eradicate your food craving.

oh, and one more thing- rather than be plainly slim or thin, the greater goal for obese and non-obese people alike is to BE HEALTHY!

Friday, August 3, 2012

... the psychology of hazing ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

in light of the latest murder through hazing, ac nicholls of solar network news passed by for an interview about the psychology of hazing in fraternities (sororities and gangs included).  

hazing is an initiation or rite of passage that uses control and power over others by inflicting ridicule, humiliation, a sense of anguish, or harm.  

hazing is believed to screen out initiates who are not serious, courageous, or worthy enough to be part of the fraternity.  because the initiates weathered the ordeal, they become more bonded to each other.  they also become more loyal to the fraternity since membership was nearly paid with their life.

for the hazer, it is usually out of loyalty in perpetuating the fraternity's traditions that he hazes.  besides loyalty, the hazer enjoys a sense of domination by making the neophytes pass through hell.  some hazers experienced severe discipline and corporal punishment in their childhood and are thus able to inflict the same on the neophytes.

the hazed neophyte, on a good note, is rewarded with a sense of accomplishment and self-discipline for successfully surviving the ordeal.  hazing however, has its apparent risks:  the risk of emotional stress and mental anguish, stress-related illnesses, psychiatric disorders such as depression, anxiety/ panic diorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, physical pain and injury, and sadly, even death.  the neophyte must possess a sense of desperation or death-defying thrill to belong to a group, at the expense of risking his own life.   

so what can we do?  we have to educate ourselves and others (frats, sororities, and gangs included) about the dangers of hazing.  we need to review our anti-hazing laws.  we need to organize campaigns against hazing.  and we need to reach out to and dissuade neophytes whose lives might be endangered by hazing rituals.  


... should i convert to my partner's religion? ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

gladys reyes of abs-cbn's umagang kay ganda posed to me the question "should i convert to my partner's religion?"

i answered her that it all depends on a number of factors.  one factor to consider is religious conviction.  if you don't espouse any strong affiliation towards your religion, then religious conversion will apparently not be such a big deal for you.  

interfaith marriages do exist in the animal kingdom!

another factor to consider is whether your partner strongly wants you to convert but you don't want to.  this conflict is best dealt with in premarital counseling.  three possibilities here:  (1) you convert, or (2) your partner accepts the fact that you won't, or (3) both of you end up at loggerheads and the relationship fizzles out.  

Selvakumar of Southern India married Selvi, his pet dog. 
I'm guessing that Selvi converted to Selvakumar's religion 
since they got married in a Hindu temple.  
By the way, Selvi is the one wearing the orange Sari.  

The black putty tat has fallen in love 
with a stone-hearted white cat, 
so I guess it's the soft-hearted black putty tat that converts.  

nadine schweigert will certainly not get into 
a religious conflict with her partner 
because she happily got married to herself.  

yes, we need to co-exist!

a third factor i'd like to discuss is when both you and your partner really don't care too much about each other's religions, but your in-laws do.  in this case, you can convert (and go through the motions, so to speak) just for the purpose of appeasing your in-laws.  the other option is, of course, not to convert and suffer from your in-law's religious discrimination.  if you can tolerate that, then don't change your religion. 

Sunday, July 29, 2012

... theta healing workshops by third eye manila ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, philippines)

i didn't think that i would get as much from the workshop than i actually did.  initially, i thought that ThetaHealing was just another one of the many energy healing techniques.  but after having completed the basic and advanced ThetaHealing workshops and becoming a Certified ThetaHealing Practitioner, i realize now that ThetaHealing is really a comprehensive psycho-spiritual program for attaining physical health, emotional well-being, personal growth, and spiritual evolution.  

with milan (sanaiyah) keswani-gurnamal, 
teacher of the Basic ThetaHealing Workshops and 
founder of Third Eye Manila

with maisha chulani

all ThetaHealing protocols are done by first connecting with God and experiencing a "theta level" state of being, after which the ThetaHealer simply relies on God's unconditional love to facilitate instantaneous physical and emotional healing.  

myself as a Certified ThetaHealing Practitioner

as a clinical psychologist and psychiatrist, i am amazed by how ThetaHealing produces deep and transformative healing in just a matter of a few minutes- the same degree of healing that might take place over a period of months or years of conventional psychotherapy.  

with healing partners Yna and Ching

Here is a description of the Basic Theta Healing® Workshop:

The Basic Theta Healing® course teaches you:

• Basic History of how Theta Healing® began and how it has grown and evolved
• The brain waves and how they are important in the healing process
• About the 7 planes of existence
• How to cultivate a Theta brain wave and use it to connect directly to the creative Source
• How to muscle test yourself and other people to identify subconscious beliefs
• How to do healing's without depleting your own energy
• How to intuitively see into the human body 
 • How to do remote viewing and future readings
• How to change your DNA, including activating your youth and vitality chromosomes
• How to test and change subconscious beliefs on all 4 levels (core, genetic, history, and soul)
• How to find the subconscious core beliefs underlying an illness, injury, or other challenge

You will Learn How To:
• Change your brain waves (Alpha, Beta, Theta and Delta) for Relaxation & Healing
• Increase Inner Peace and Strength
• Instantly Heal acute pain
• Intuitively diagnose the human body
• Analyze your conscious and subconscious beliefs

You will Learn How To: 
• Deal with cancers and illnesses
o DNA story
o Parasites, viruses and normal cells
o Poisons and toxins
o Vitamins and minerals
o Psychic gene replacement
o Positive and negative beliefs
• Deal with mental issues
o Self-acceptance and love
o Depression
o Relationship issues
o Financial problems
o Losing weight
o Stress and anger management
o Multiple personalities, schizophrenia

 The heart of this class is the practice of techniques that allow you to change life patterns held in place by core, genetic, historic and soul beliefs, either self inflicted or externally imposed. The student will learn to identify his/her own beliefs as well as to practice pulling them for others in the class. This practice can quickly reveal systems of belief that might take traditional psychotherapy years to uncover, showing the body how to replace limiting beliefs or feelings with positive ones. Issues of safety are emphasized, especially when making genetic changes in the body.  By the end of the seminar, the student is prepared to become a practitioner of ThetaHealing® as a ThetaHealer®.

Prerequisite: None required. (you don’t need to have any experience in healing,
spirituality, or meditation to attend the course)
Date: TBA
Time: 9am – 5pm
Venue: TBA
Course Fee includes: Vianna's ThetaHealing® Book and Manual, lunch, refreshments and certification from THInK Institute. 

with ThetaHealing Master Sanaiyah and 
Certified Sex Instructor Sam Tan

Facilitator:  About Milan, Founder of The Third Eye

Milan Keswani-Gurnamal found herself traversing the route towards understanding mind, body, and energy through a synchronous unfolding of events that began in 2006. She received her BA from the University of Pennsylvania (USA, 2000), her Graduate Gemologist degree from GIA (London/NY, 2002), and her certification in Clinical Hypnotherapy from the California Hypnosis Institute in 2008. She further received her Doctorate in Clinical Hypnotherapy from the Indian Board of Alternative Medicine (IBAM) in 2009 and her Teacher’s Certification thereafter. She is currently pursuing her Post-Graduate degree in Regression Therapies from Tasso University in the Netherlands. She is also a certified Reiki Practitioner and Pranic Healer among other healing techniques such as EFT, Tarot reading, and Crystal therapy.

In 2009, Milan came across the healing modality ThetaHealing® which she saw as a perfect blend of science with spirituality. She quickly became a certified ThetaHealing® Practitioner & Instructor from Vianna Stibal’s ThetaHealing® Institute of Knowledge (THInK USA) and was inspired by the instant healings she experienced. Having been certified in all of the ThetaHealing courses, she is on her way to becoming a ThetaHealing® Master Practitioner & Instructor. She traveled to the Bahamas and India to learn personally from Vianna, which added a new dimension to her ThetaHealing® knowledge and understanding. She sees ThetaHealing® as a technique that everyone should learn for their own personal and spiritual growth and healing.

Milan is completely in her element when she is inspiring others through her experiences, knowledge, and ideas. She has a unique gift for sharing knowledge and communicating ideas in a way that is easily understood by others. She believes that every individual has an exciting and enlightening journey to take from within, and sees her role as facilitating it whether through healing, teaching or supporting them.

Her road to personal fulfillment follows the path of organizing events, workshops, and training programs; spreading awareness through teaching; and taking on individual therapy sessions with clients. It is with this vision that she started The Third Eye, an organization that belongs to everyone who wants to be a part of a movement towards raising one’s own consciousness through awareness and self-realization, creating a new reality for all of us to share.

Her avid curiosity leads her to explore spiritual concepts, translate metaphysical ideas, and survey the entire universe of possibilities when it comes to perpetuating illumination. To her, the essence of life is unconditional love and pure consciousness. Milan believes that a new reality is here; we just have to wake up to it.

t: +09175560600/ 026221528

... myrtle sarrosa, cosplaying, and cosplayers in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila)

mikee navarro of abs-cbn's showbiz inside reporter asked me some questions on cosplaying.

a decade ago, cosplayers were few in number and regarded as pathetic juvenile retards who liked wearing cartoonish costumes and who would meet up in malls for their silly childish conventions. 

in this day and age, many people still think of cosplayers in that way.  but thanks to myrtle sarrosa- pbb teen edition 4's big winner, cosplaying has now entered the consciousness of more filipinos.  considered as some sort of "performance art," today's cosplayers enjoy much more respect and admiration from people.  

so why do cosplayers cosplay?  primarily because they like dressing up as much as some people like to wear designer clothes or some specialized outfits.  secondly, they probably have an exhibitionistic streak and like the attention they get, whether it is out of shock, admiration, curiosity, or disgust that people look at them.  and thirdly, they dress up to look like the character whose traits they identify with or the character whose traits they would like to have.  

because cosplaying has become immensely popular in the philippines, our government has decided to feature it in its tourism campaign ads. oh, the heck with tourist spots! 

recently, i even spotted conventions of middle-aged men and women cosplaying as security guards:

cosplaying has become a fad for people of all ages.  even newborn babies can't resist becoming cosplayers! 


... 50 fifty shades of grey and sado-masochistic sex in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila)

cheska calayag of tv5's pilipinas news and action program visited my clinic to discuss about the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey.  

the "grey" in the title refers to Christian Grey who has a relationship with Anastacia Steele with whom he has sado-masochistic sex.

a cartographic sketch of Christian Grey

sado-masochism, which goes by the acronym S & M or plainly SM, is sex play which involves the infliction of pain or humiliation.  sado-masochism comes from 2 words, sadism and masochism.  the sadist is the one who feels sexual pleasure in inflicting pain.  while the masochist is the one who derives sexual gratification from receiving the pain.  sometimes, sadists and masochists are able to switch roles.  

if the sadist is a woman, she may take on the stereotypical image of a dominatrix (or female dominator) picture as a woman wearing black leather underwear and high-heeled boots lashing out a whip on her partner helpless tied up in bed.  

many will quickly associate the dominatrix's get-up with the costume worn by none other than the ferocious feline, the catwoman.  

as a psychiatrist who does sex therapy, it is protocol for me to ask about the sex lives of my clients.  i find out that some of the couples who consult me really do enjoy rough sex play during their intimate moments- "karinyong brutal," they call it. in interviewing couples who engage in sado-masochism, i evaluate whether their sado-masochistic practices border on sexual violence that can result in serious physical injury or, at worst, death.