... gestalt therapy growth group: nagpapahinga sa lilim ng puno ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

today, we had a theme from the group activity that everyone could relate to:  

many times, we need to be strong on the outside

  even if we feel weak and vulnerable deep within.   

thanks karel cabauatan, marjorie aggabao, 

jaymaica dacquil, ma'am olicia becker, 

john michael sedano for the life lesson!

(st. paul university, tuguegarao)

... art therapy workshop for non-artists in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

the national commission for culture and the arts (ncca), foundation for adolescent development (fad), and the life change recovery center (lcrc) joined hands in organizing an art therapy workshop for non-artists, entitled "the art of healing." 

there were over 20 participants of various age groups- teens, adults, and midlifers, and of various backgrounds- street educators, guidance counselors, nurses, religious leaders, and advocacy group representatives.  organized by multi-awarded actress ma. isabel lopez, the workshop was an opportunity for participants to silence and dismiss their "inner adult critic" and coax the "inner child" to surface and be playful once again.

art therapy is not about producing obra maestras.  art therapy is a inward journey to the core of oneself.  the finished art work is not as important as the process of creating it and the insights one gets about one's self.  

here are what the participants had to say about the workshop:

“The art therapy brought out the youth and fun in us. It reminded us that despite life’s uncertainties, you have to enjoy life and learn to smile.”

“I discovered that I should not be afraid of trying and striving hard for me to be able to overcome and be good at something which I am not practicing.”

“It became clearer to me that I don’t have to be afraid of doing something that I am not comfortable with.”

“Self awareness.”

“I think art is a fantastic way to express hidden desires and emotions. This can be a great avenue for people to find out more about themselves and can be a way for them to heal also.”

“I was able to get in touch  with my inner self, identify my inner monster, realized how to face them for me to become more effective counselor.”

“Through art, we can release part of ourselves  that in every piece of art, we can have  an impact to others.”

“I will always be a kid and will always want to have that innocent blissful feeling of childhood.”

“The art of healing healed me through this activity, refreshed my creativity, expressed my emotion, mind and body through art.”

... yahoo philippines on mon tulfo, raymart santiago, and claudine baretto ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila)

When in doubt, chill!

 By Maridol Rañoa-Bismark | Say Cheese! – 12 hours ago

• 2

Claudine Barretto and Raymart Santiago (NPPA Images)

The Mon Tulfo-Claudine Barretto-Raymart Santiago "Thrilla in NAIA"  could have been prevented had the three people involved knew how to chill, or, in a psychologist's parlance, learned how to manage their anger.

It's human nature to get angry. But, as the airport incident showed,  how you handle that anger makes a world of a difference.   It could spell the difference between violence and a peaceful end to a problem.

Psychologist and anger management specialist Randy Dellosa says that "when handled poorly, conflict can easily escalate into verbal mud-slinging, finger-pointing, character assassination and violent outbursts."

You've seen it on YouTube. You've heard the charges and counter-charges in this Tulfo-Santiago brawl. And you know how it has grown to be  downright ugly.

The Tulfos and Santiagos ended up losing something precious: the gift of living their life peacefully — for the time being, at least.


The sad thing is the situation could have been averted.  Yes, you can argue. But there are rules for fighting fairly.

Dellosa ticks off the rules: 1) Keep it private 2) Remain cordial and respectful despite the differences 3) Focus on root problems 4) Understand each other's perspectives and 5) Focus on solutions.
Obviously, Mon Tulfo and the Santiagos forgot these rules. And all hell broke loose.

Dellosa  admits it's hard to keep one's cool in a situation such as the one that happened at NAIA.

"People consumed by their anger do not think logically and commit acts they would later regret," Dellosa states.

But then, they could have breathed deeply and walked away from the heated situation until they have cooled off.

"The goal of the 'break' is to meet again at a later time with cooler heads and with a focus on finding solutions instead of making personal attacks on each other," Dellosa points out.

To Mon Tulfo, Claudine and Raymart, the psychologist has this to say,  "One can be assertive without needing to be violent or aggressive."

And the lessons all this shows us?

Dellosa declares, "We need to learn how to treat people, even our enemies, with respect and dignity even in the midst of conflict. Keeping peaceful relations should be a priority over winning an argument or forcing what one thinks is right.  And finally, we need to let our bruised egos heal and be willing to forgive."

Let this "Thrilla in NAIA" serve as a lesson, not just to the Tulfos and the Santagos, but to the rest of us who must learn how to manage our anger before it brings out the worst in us.

... on conflict, conflict resolution, and anger management in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila)

Conflict is a natural and inevitable part of human existence. Conflict in itself is not bad.  When handled properly, conflicts teach us to practice open-mindedness, tolerance, and compromise. 

However, when handled poorly, conflict can easily escalate into verbal mud-slinging, finger-pointing, character assassination, and violent outbursts.  The result is an unending cycle of “blaming-attacking-defending” wherein everyone ends up exhausted and disgruntled.

Conflicts are often a result of sheer pride and stubbornness.  Just like children, some adults throw tantrums in order to make themselves feel powerful and in control. The conflict would have been easily avoided if the conflicting parties simply yielded and gave up in defending their hard-line stance. 

Anger always carries with it the potential for psychological and physical injury towards others.  Hence, it should always be tempered and must be expressed only in socially acceptable ways. 

Psychologists have come up with rules for fair fighting:  (1) Keep it private.  (2) Remain cordial and respectful despite differences.  (3) Focus on root problems.  (4) Understand each other’s perspectives.  (5) Focus on finding solutions.  

People have different strategies for keeping cool.  One quick remedy for cooling down a hot-head is to do some breathing exercises.  When people are angry, a person’s muscles become very tense and inhaling more oxygen in the body is quick way to relax both body and mind. 

Another strategy to keep cool is by engaging oneself in diversions such as playing computer games, listening to music, watching TV, or talking to friends.  Any distracting activity in fact will quickly dissipate the anger. 

And thirdly, one can remain cool by adopting an attitude of merely “letting go.”

It is very difficult and almost impossible to be clear-headed in the midst of an intense argument.  People consumed by their anger do not think logically and commit acts that they would later regret.  

The best way to attain mental and emotional clarity during a heated argument is to “take a break” and withdraw from the situation.  This gives the conflicting parties some time to calm down and think more rationally.  The goal of the “break” is to meet again at a latter time with cooler heads and with a focus on finding solutions instead of making personal attacks on each other. 

Some principles on anger management: 

One can be assertive without needing to be violent or aggressive.

It is not wrong to stand on an issue but some issues are simply not worth the fight.

It takes a mature and courageous person to admit his or her part in the problem and then actively seek for reconciliation.

More lessons we need to learn: 

We need to learn how to treat people, even our enemies, with respect and dignity even in the midst of conflict. 

Keeping peaceful relations should be made priority over winning an argument or forcing what one thinks is right. 

We need to let our bruised egos heal and be willing to forgive.

... wish ko lang: schizophrenia treatment in the philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila)

gma's wish ko lang visited life change recovery center (lcrc) to have a young female patient named karen confined for psychiatric treatment.  

karen covered herself with a blanket and refused to take the blanket off until everyone else left the room.  as soon as the others were gone, she indeed removed the blanket but still hid her face by covering it with her long, wavy, unkempt hair, looking pretty much like sadako from the movie "the ring."  nevertheless, she started loosening up and answering my queries.  

i diagnosed karen to have schizophrenia, which is a neuro-chemical (dopamine) imbalance in the brain.  she manifested paranoid thoughts and would be seen talking to herself and laughing alone.  furthermore, she isolated herself and stopped attending to her personal hygiene.

many people with schizophrenia are easily treated with dopamine-balancing medications.  unfortunately, around 20% deteriorate in their condition and will need long term-care. for karen however, the prayer and goal for her is to have a speedy recovery so that she can live a productive and happy life.

by the way, underneath all that hair, sadako is a beautiful japanese actress in the person of yukie nakama:

here is what sadako's dog looks like: 

... gestalt therapy growth group ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapy, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

a joy to have worked with and learned from them:  

lester limjoco, mary jane gonzales, edmar pineda, farrah galban, glenn lising (kat reyes and sean- not in picture).

... supermoon 2012 ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, quezon city, manila, philippines)

may 5, 2012. 

a supermoon is the moon when it comes as close as it can get to the earth.  hence, the moon is seen at its brightest and biggest when it is a supermoon. 

above me is the supermoon alright, but from the vantage point of the philippines, it fails miserably in comparison to the hugeness of same supermoon as photographed below, in phoenix, arizona.