... Gestalt Therapy in the Philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)



Gestalt Therapy in the Light of Different Cultures

My mentors in Gestalt Therapy: 

Gerald Kogan, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist/psychotherapist and a Gestalt therapist with more than 45 years of clinical, educational, community, and organizational experience.  Among his teachers were Fritz and Laura Perls, Virginia Satir, and Carl Rogers.  With his wife Wiltrud, he is a co-founder and co-director of Gestalt Education Network International (GENI).  He also co-founded the German Association of Gestalt Therapy and the European Association of Counseling.  He has been a teacher of psychotherapy in the USA, Europe, and Asia.  His writings include articles and bibliographic research in Gestalt Therapy and  and the books Your Body Works and God in a Red Machine.

Wiltrud Krauss-Kogan, Dipl.Paed,. HP is a licensed psychotherapist and Gestalt therapist in private practice.  She has been a teacher of Gestalt Therapy in Europe and the USA for 3 decades.  In addition to working with individuals, couples and groups, her background includes experience with children, abused adolescents, people wiht addictive problems, and individuals with life-threatening illnesses and trauma.  She has been trained in Gestalt Therapy, Gestalt Body Process, Family Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy in the USA and Europe and is a student of various healing practices.  She is a co-founder and co-director of GENI and a co-founder of the German Association of Gestalt Therapy.

My training under the Gestalt Education Network International:

2001:  Tenerife, Canary Islands, Spain

the gestalt gang's all here

gestalt therapy training in the garden

at a restaurant

   

at the town fiesta

at the mountain top, overlooking a sea of clouds

at the mountain top, with the sea of clouds behind and below me

  

too cold to swim in the atlantic ocean

friends

2002:  Dordogne, France

  

2004:  Trivandrum, Kerala, India

visited a small remote indian island

surprised to meet an indian boy (on my left) wearing a boracay shirt

sleeping at the top bunk bed on a train

with a an indian holy man

with some cultural dancers

at newly-opened hotel with E.D. Joseph's wonderful family

a boat ride down the river in the sweltering noontime heat

gestalt therapy training under coconut trees

closing the gestalt with a group pic

2005:  Sidemen, Karangasem, Bali, Indonesia

when in bali, dress up as the balinese do

fun time with kids at the market

at a mountaintop temple

the big lizard on the wall of my room creeping me out

the view outside my bedroom window

the hut i stayed in 

a local shaman who told me exactly what I was sick of

gestalt group's visit to a balinese holy man

with the balinese holy man

the holy man's blessing: rice on the forehead, and leaves on the head and ears

    

2007:  Schondorf, Germany (under the Institut fur Integrative Gestalttherapie Wurzburg)

2007:  Brisbane, Australia ( under the Brisbane Gestalt Institute)

... here's another reason to come to the Philippines ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

(photo courtesy of Drey Yerd)

... relationship counseling: exploring infidelity, why couples cheat ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

Exploring Infidelity: Why Couples Cheat (excerpts)

by Gregory Bren Garcia

Smart Parenting/ mom & dad

with author greg bren garcia

When couples first get into a relationship, the whole thing would usually feel like a match made in heaven—something like the Carpenters’ song wherein birds suddenly appear, stars fall down from the sky, and all that other jazz. However, when the passion of the relationship finally fades away, the infatuation also often peters out along with it.  

Unfortunately, when the infatuation period is over, some people begin seeking emotional fulfillment or sexual gratification from people other than their partners. As a matter of fact, according to psychiatrist and life coach Randy Dellosa, infidelity is one of the three most common relationship problems that couples experience, the other two being constant quarrelling and lack of intimacy.

So what is the reason why people in committed relationships cheat? And is “happily ever after” really too much to ask for?

Causes of infidelity

The first easy answer to the question of infidelity is lust. After all, people are sexual beings who are biologically wired to reproduce in order to ensure the survival of the species. “This I always repeat: if not for religious beliefs and laws, people are basically still like animals,” says Randy. “We have a polygamous nature because biologically, we need to reproduce and procreate for our species. It is just our laws and our capacity to decide that prevents us from doing things on the streets.”

But of course, more than the genetic underpinnings, infidelity also has its roots in a number of emotional, psychological, and even cultural reasons. For instance, infidelity could stem from already existing problems being experienced by a couple. Randy says that although cheating, constant quarrelling, and lack of intimacy are problems that can sometimes exist independently, they are often interrelated. These problems often come to a head because couples choose to sweep them under the rug instead of addressing them. As a result, they fester and become breeding grounds for related conflicts to arise.

“Infidelity could be a substitute for getting one’s sexual and emotional needs met when the partner is unwilling or deficient. A cheating man, for example, would cheat on his spouse because he saw in his mistress some qualities that the wife does not have,” he says. “Sometimes, the partner would even wonder ‘why did he choose her?’ or ‘why did he have an affair with someone from a lower social status?’ However, it’s not that simple. As long as that other person is able to meet the cheating partner’s unmet needs, that person can become a substitute,” he explains.

 “Another reason is that some men grew up with parents who have had extramarital affairs in the past, which gives an unspoken permission for these men to do the same,” she adds. Randy is of the same mind, although he believes that the pattern is applicable to both men and women. He explains that people who grow up with parents who are unfaithful to each other sometimes become so acclimatized to the problem that it becomes normal to them.

“If they grow up with a father or a mother who fooled around, then that sort of pattern becomes so normalized in them such that they imitate their parents’ behaviors when they grow up. They begin to think that it is how relationships should be,” he says.

Relativity of infidelity

Some behaviors are universally considered as acts of infidelity. For instance, if someone who is already spoken for engages in a sexual relationship with another person or kisses that other person intimately, then the former is almost always seen as cheating on his or her partner. But is it really that easy?

Most of the time, Randy says, a behavior is considered infidelity only if mutually agreed-upon covenants between partners are violated. “It really depends on the definition of the partners. For instance, some couples who are in committed relationships agree to swing or to partner swap—they engage in sexual activities with other couples. So, one can say that if that’s the agreement, then it’s not infidelity. Of course other people might see it differently and say that those couples are actually committing mutual infidelity,” he says.

But is there a way to prevent unfaithfulness before it happens? Randy says there is.

“Infidelity is best prevented by sticking to a vow of faithfulness and by a commitment to flee from temptation. This vow and commitment should be made once the relationship is formalized. Partners have to realize and constantly remember that a formal relationship curtails one’s freedom to fool around and to play around,” he says.

Dealing with infidelity

One might want to ask, “is my partner cheating on me?” Most people who have experienced the problem will say that to be able to detect infidelity, one should be aware of changes in their partners’ behavioral patterns. Possible red flags would include hiding the cell phone, going home late, and other things that are out of the ordinary.

But what happens next if you catch your partner cheating on you? Do you wallow in self pity or do you dust yourself off and continue living? Of course there are those people who would be fine on their own or would be able to deal with the problem by getting emotional support from their friends and family. However, if a person slips into prolonged depression or starts engaging in self-destructive behavior, then that person needs to get some professional help.

Of course, the aggrieved partners almost always bear the greater brunt of infidelity. Randy believes that the best thing to do for those who were cheated upon is to move on.

“There’s never any assurance or certainty that the spouse will really be faithful. It’s better to just focus on finding yourself with or without your partner. This way, your happiness will not be dependent on that person, and you’ll be able to move on,” he says.

... objectophilia, objectum sexuality, object sexuality ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

lj javier of untv's istorya interviewed me on the topic of objectum sexuality, also known as objectophilia.  objectophilia refers to an intimate relationship between a person and inanimate object.  the person with objectophilia is known as the objectophile or objectum-sexual. 

in objectophilia, the "love object" is personified and is therefore treated like a human being.  and as in any intimate relationship, the objectophile is likely to engage in sex with the "love object" or even get married to it.  for instance, in 2007, erika laBrie married the eiffel tower, and now goes by her married name "erika eiffel."  

in my clinical practice, i 've met only a few objectophiles.  one objectophile i met is a mechano-sexual, having an intimate relationship with his typewriter which, he says, is very responsive to his touch.  "i know her very well.  if i press her buttons the right way, she'll send me a message of love."

 objectum sexuality or objectophilia is being touted as the new sexual orientation.  we've heard of the third sex, and now we have a fourth one!  hmm, just makes me wonder what the 5th one will be?  

... korina sanchez-roxas, raffy tan, hazel chua, pinoy biggest loser, and the psychology of weight loss ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist)

on korina sanchez's dzmm radio show, it was good to have a reunion with pinoy biggest losers hazel chua and raffy tan.  it was even better to know that they're still maintaining their exercise and diet program that keeps them physically fit and looking good. 

one of my clients shared with me her secret for keeping slim- after jumping out of bed every morning, and before plopping into bed at night, she dances wildly, like a ferocious raving lunatic on the loose, to william hung's rendition of ricky martin's "she bangs!"  

well, you can tell i'm getting a bit thick in the middle.  i guess i'll definitely have to a lot of "ferocious banging" with william hung in the next couple of weeks!

... allison brooks on health coaching and all its benefits ...

Health Coaching and all Its Benefits

by Allison Brooks

Health coaching operates on the belief that the patient already possesses the subconscious information necessary to reach desired goals and make vital decisions. However, a health coach provides accountability by assisting the individual being coached to adhere to a plan, regardless of whether the plan involves meditation, exercise, lifestyle changes, or simply having more fun. Health coaches can also form plans for serious issues, like an unfavorable cancer prognosis, to help people cope with the anxiety of living with a disease, enable quicker recovery from surgery, and reduce the side effects associated with traditional treatments.

To spur a new beginning, a health coach asks questions that fuel the self-discovery necessary to find solutions. Life-changing energy, laughter, healing and love comes with this inner knowledge, resulting in the client becoming more resourceful, effective and pleased with his/her day-to-day life while discovering solutions to its obstacles. In addition, expert advice can also be sought if this is necessary. 

The initial coaching session focuses on goals and listing them in a positive way. For instance, an individual who desires a relaxed and pain-free existence might say something similar to:  

"I wake up every morning feeling energetic, relaxed and well able to pursue my dreams,” rather than simply saying he or she hopes to have a day free of rib pain. The statement may be similar to the following: “I am able to take deep breaths of air which will nourish my body with oxygen and I feel more relaxed and comfortable with every breath I take." The key to creating the outcome one desires is through visualization. In addition, trained coaches may integrate energy techniques, such as Matrix Energetics or Reikiinto each therapy session.

 

Many health coaches practice energy healing techniques to balance the body and spirit, to make one more open to change. They assist patients in identifying “energy zappers” and help them to find avenues through which more energy and pleasure can be added to their lives. Whether therapy is pursued over the telephone or face to face, a coach guides a patient through challenges and uncertainties, which allows the client to create and execute an action plan that can result in improvements in his or her personal life.

Since health coaching falls under the “ life coaching” umbrella, some of the topics discussed are intertwined. Life coaching is a broader area of individual well-being and achievement expertise. Life coaches come from all types of experiences and backgrounds, which help them, assist their clients to manage relationships and navigate through difficult transitions.

No matter what, a life or health coach is a great way to help manage personal and wellness goals. They are your support system and are knowledgeable on many fronts of well-being improvement. From alternative to integrative medicines, wellness coaches understand you and your body and know the best way to tackle an issue.

... grief counseling and psycho-trauma therapy... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapy, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

Janelle and the silver lining

By gvillena | Say Cheese! – Wed, Nov 30, 2011

The battle is not yet over for Janelle Manahan, just because she has checked out of Asian Hospital recently. She still has to grapple with two forces: external and internal.

The external one — consisting of police investigations and media interviews over the murder of her boyfriend Ram Revilla — is something she has little control over. It's the internal one, which requires her to exorcise her personal demons, that she has full control over.

And this is where Janelle needs no ordinary kind of help.

She's off to a good start.  Janelle has her parents and phalanx of friends to see her through the night.  She can tell them what's bugging her anytime she feels like it.

As psychologist Randy Dellosa says, "Janelle needs to surround herself with friends and loved ones who can provide her emotional support.  She will need to express her feelings instead of bottling them up inside."

It also helps that she tells everyone she misses Ram and recalls her fond memories of him.  It's part of the healing process.

"Later on," Dellosa suggests, "she might want to create her own personal ceremony or ritual to celebrate the life they shared together."

But human help can only do so much. Dellosa observes that "victims of trauma often struggle with questions about the meaning of life, the goodness of God, and the evil which humans are capable of doing."

Thus, he thinks Janelle needs a spiritual adviser to make sense of everything that's happening to her.

On top of that, Dellosa advises not just an ordinary psychologist or psychiatrist for Janelle, but a specialist in grief therapy and psycho-trauma therapy.

"Because of the gravity of her experience, Janelle is at the risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder, major depression or anxiety disorder," Dellosa explains.

He is afraid she will go through "grief spasms, or occasional attacks of intense sadness and emotional pain." After all, Ram's was no ordinary death.  She saw him die in a most gruesome way right before her very eyes.

Because of this, Dellosa is afraid Janelle's grief can persist — even for a lifetime.

Another hurdle victims of frustrated murder like Janelle might go through is "survivor guilt," which Dellosa says could stem from the fact that she's alive and Ram is not.

So how could Janelle heal from emotional scars that threaten to maim her for good?

"Janelle can use media to her advantage not only in telling her side of the story, but in inspiring people to be strong amidst the hardships they may be experiencing," states Dellosa. "Through media, Janelle can support an advocacy for helping other survivors of heinous crimes."

The other silver lining concerns her career.

The best actors are not those who live sheltered lives, but battle-scarred warriors who have learned how to fight and conquer their personal demons.

The good news is Janelle can turn things in her favor by digging deep into her emotions and using them to make her a young actress of incredible depth.

"The experience can hopefully transform Janelle into a serious, sensitive and credible actress," says Dellosa.

Yes, Janelle's story is far from over.  Let's wait and see if she will turn it into a story of triumph or one of continued pain.

... growth group activity: the evil eye in the sky ... (life coach, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, philippines)

friends from the u.p. college of medicine- jonas bico, marge bocaya, franco catangui, rona abad, marvyn chan, and bon buno, dropped by for a sharing session.  

marge shared a story about receiving some message of doom as she was watching tv. and just to make sure that it nothing ominous was going to happen, she checked by looking out her window.  on ground level, there was nothing extra-ordinary but when she looked up, her attention was caught by an array of colors splashed in the sky.  to her surprise, she saw an image of an eye in the midst of the colors.  hmmm...

the rest of the guys talked about themselves:



marvyn:  i'm the type of person who just rides the waves and goes with the flow.



rona:  as a doctor, i'm like a bringer of bad news when i tell patients about their diagnosis.



bon:  people perceive me as a conventional type of person.  they haven't met the adventurous and wild side to my personality.



franco:  i catch people's attention because i have a identical twin brother who is my exact opposite in character.  

well, they didn't only share with me their stories, three of them were sick with the common cold and they were gracious enough to share that with me, too!  (joke)